OK, so here we have an oldie
but goodie. Thought I'd put it in the blog on the chance that some of you hadn't yet had the opportunity to partake. I first heard this while I
worked at the City of Columbia
What it takes to be the Boss
One day all the parts of the body
began to discuss who should be the boss.
The brain (thinking the question was really a no-brainer), thought he
should be the boss. After all, said the
brain, I provide thought and direction for all the parts of the body. No one really does a thing unless I direct it
be done. I should, obviously, be the
boss.
Well, all the other body parts thought this over and
there was some considerable disagreement.
The muscles spoke first, saying, look here, brain. We make motion possible for the whole body. We get us up out of bed in the morning, we
take us to work, and we even provide all you need whenever you want to enjoy a
good game of golf. Obviously, we should
be the boss. The heart and lungs next
joined in as a partnership. Without us,
where do all of you think you would be? The
blood we send to you carries your sustenance, your oxygen, and literally keeps
you from drying up. Why, if it weren’t
for the white corpuscles we send to you, you wouldn’t last long considering all
the diseases that are out there. You
should make us the boss—we are, after all, absolutely indispensable.
Several other parts of the body chimed in, all thinking
they were the most indispensable of all.
The last body part to weigh in was the azz hole. This idea sent all the other body parts into
conniptions. The idea was so absurd—the
azz hole being the boss? The brain, the
Heart and lungs, the muscles, all had their supporters, but the azz hole! More laughter ensued. The azz hole, initially placing his candidacy
for the job with a degree of humility, began to feel bad, at first, then he
began to get mad. To be turned down for
the job was one thing, but to be ridiculed and laughed at was quite another.
The azz hole got so mad he tied himself into a knot. He was really, really mad.
The other body parts forgot
about him and continued their arguments.
Each had a certain amount of support and each believed they had a chance
at getting the job. This lasted for just
over two days. On the third day things
began to become quite grim. The azz hole’s response to all the ridicule began to take a toll on all the other parts
of the body. As a matter of fact, they
all began to feel quite out of sorts, to say the least. The heart began to beat a bit erratically;
the lungs began to breathe in a labored manner.
The muscles were all sore and found themselves having a tendency to
cramp. The eyes found themselves
crossing. The brain was aching and
somewhat addled. The azz hole just sat
there.
All the parts of the body (except the azz hole) then got
together. What the azz hole was doing
was more than apparent to all and everyone wanted relief. In fact, they wanted relief so bad they all
voted to make the azz hole the boss, a move all found quite satisfactory in
short order.
This story, like most, has its moral. It’s simple and self evident to most people
who have ever found themselves in the average work-place. When it comes to bosses, you don’t have to be
a brain, you don’t have to be a shaker and a mover, or be very muscular, you
don’t even have to provide any overriding essential services—you just have to be
an azz hole.
S.V. Geddes
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